goddammit. i still love you. i think this is what love feels like. i want to be near you. i want to have a future with you. two kids, boy and girl, joseph and catherine. we'll have that yorkshire terrier you wanted, even though i like bigger dogs. we could live in a nice house, maybe travel sometimes to europe. you would do foreign relations, i would do something with art. we would cuddle and share music and movies and just be happy. i shouldn't have gone to see you perform tonight. you're hilarious. and amazing. i love you. i hope when we're adults we find each other again. i hope this isn't just a teenage fling. i really hope it isn't. i want our paths to cross again, even if it's a long way down from now. i want to stand on my tippy toes to try and kiss you even though that doesn't help much. i want you to hug me close to your chest and i want to bury my face in your shirt. i want to fight about stupid things but make up in the end. i want a relationship that has ups and downs but is ultimately satisfying in the end. i love you. i really do.