goddammit. i still love you. i think this is what love feels like. i want to be near you. i want to have a future with you. two kids, boy and girl, joseph and catherine. we'll have that yorkshire terrier you wanted, even though i like bigger dogs. we could live in a nice house, maybe travel sometimes to europe. you would do foreign relations, i would do something with art. we would cuddle and share music and movies and just be happy. i shouldn't have gone to see you perform tonight. you're hilarious. and amazing. i love you. i hope when we're adults we find each other again. i hope this isn't just a teenage fling. i really hope it isn't. i want our paths to cross again, even if it's a long way down from now. i want to stand on my tippy toes to try and kiss you even though that doesn't help much. i want you to hug me close to your chest and i want to bury my face in your shirt. i want to fight about stupid things but make up in the end. i want a relationship that has ups and downs but is ultimately satisfying in the end. i love you. i really do.

aslfasl;fhas;klfas;fklhas;fl why why why why why why do i like these boys why do i still have feelings why do i have emotions fuck this this sucks please let me just forget these people who have caused me pain i don't need this nobody likes me :(

You are quite a confusing boy. First you seem interested in me and you ask me to go as your date. But then you say we can't go together because of "complications." You show up with another girl to the party, who you seem to really like. But at the same time, I can see you keeping tabs on me whenever I'm in the room. Sigh, boys are so dumb...