4

We decided to be in a "middle ground," where I guess we could get back together, maybe? I don't know how I feel about this. I should figure this out.

If I didn't break up with him:

he'd still go to prom with her
i would still be insecure about him with other girls
maybe i would have talked to him about our relationship
we would have worked it out (?)
i wouldn't have gone to prom (?)

other things:
i start having an anxiety attack when he shows how protective of her she is (I don't know what this means-jealousy? maybe)
he acts sort of condescending some times
sometimes he doesn't get sarcasm
he suggested a friends with benefits thing during the summer...but he said i wasn't a fuck buddy. but he also said he did like me. past tense, not present.
i want to make him jealous...and i want to hurt him, just a little.
i need a prom date.
i need to hook up with jo and smoke hookah and forget all this shit.
i really hope that i'll forget about this. this isn't good for me. i need to focus on school.
adele's music is really good for every occasion involving a relationship.
i hate him. but i like him. but i hate him for doing this to me.
i want hook ups.
i hate how much control he has in this...it frustrates me. i'm usually in control.
his best friend pisses me off a little.
too much is up to chance. but i can't change anything.
i'm glad i didn't have sex with him.
i hope i learn from this/gain experience/learn to appreciate good guys.
i really want to go to prom :(